Beware My Prediction: Green Lantern Won't Be Good

We got the trailer a while back but two weeks ago Green Lantern released four minutes of Green Lantern footage at Wonder Con.

Let me say this off the bat: I don't have a good feeling about it. That four minutes looks great but my gut tells me it's going to be bad. I just get a Fantastic Four the Movie-vibe from it. A good budget doesn't equal a good movie. I don't like a lot of the visuals and I have not been crazy about a lot of the Ryan Reynolds performance I've seen. I am not adverse to him, (I think there were better choices like Chris Pine or Nathan Fillion) in fact I think he has the potential to be GREAT however the little bit we've been shown is a let-down. I just have not been at all impressed with what I've seen of him from the trailers or their take on Hal Jordan - like making him way funnier and sillier than he is in order to fit Reynolds rather than making Reynolds ACT to be more of the way Hal Jordan is. Sure, Hal has that bit of test pilot roguishness but is he goofy? No. He has bravado and an ego. That's not the same thing as being a wise-cracking fratboy.

Ryan seems fine but was he the BEST choice? No. No, I don't think so.

I also don't like the look of the costume. I understand that it's not going to look exactly like the comics but I think the decision to make it all computer-generated is a mistake. I think it will make him look cartoony and unbelievable and I think the footage we've seen so far bears that out. I think making it all glowing and look like skin is a bad choice. I think it should have been a normal costume and then he glows when he flies or is in space (like in the comic). That would have avoided it being CG all the time. I don't think it looked good in the trailers but maybe it wasn't the polished final product or it will look better on the big screen. I will wait to see the actual movie before I pass judgment.

Still, this wouldn't be so hard to pull off, would it? Or even do the costume they have but not CG...

Now, I decided to do this post after the four minutes of Wonder Con footage was released because when I first watched it I thought it looked AWESOME! The Corps looked great. The Oath was awesome (I think Reynolds pulled it off and I like the eye-change). Tomar Re was awesome and so was Sinestro. However, my gut feeling is still not good because as many trailers have proven (Van Helsing, Episode I, the Matrix Reloaded) it is easy to find four minutes of awesomeness in even the most hideous of cinematic abortions.

Admit it folks, this one looks like it could go either way...

But this is not a review of Green Lantern (it's still over a month-and-a-half away, for goodness sakes). This is just a prediction on my part based on my knowledge of Green Lantern, Hollywood Comic Adaptations, and the footage that I have been thus far shown.

Projected Plot Summary with Visual Aids:
The Black Text I feel is backed up by footage/dialogue from the trailers. The Green is pure Malchovian speculation. PS- All of these are screen captures I took and you can click on them to get bigger versions for closer examination!
Abin Sur is investigating Parallax and perhaps even a traitor in the Green Lantern Corps. He follows a lead to a space station and is attacked by Parallax.

Roar! (Also, I think that's Sinestro's face within the Parallax cloud)

He is mortally wounded.

"Crap in a hat; This is gonna hurt..."

In order to conserve his power he steals a space ship and goes "to the nearest inhabited planet for the selection process."

Which nicely explains why he's in a ship instead of flying via ring-power

We cut to the nearest inhabited planet and are introduced to the protagonist Hal Jordan. He's a slacker.

Clearly anyone having one-night-stands with hot chicks needs to get his life in order...

He is a womanizer and he shows up to the big test flight late despite the fact that "it's important."

"I'm enforcing to the audience that you're a screw up and this is a big deal!"

Hal and Carol are both flying.

Because this will make her an empowered woman - She's a CEO who flies! *rolls eyes*

Anyone Else notice the Star Sapphire logo on Carol's helmet? Also, the craft following her looks weird

While flying something goes wrong and the plane crashes. He bails out but is either fired or just chewed out by Carol Ferris.

"You just crashed the Super Jet I told you not to crash ass-hat!"

He goes to a beach to pout and think about how tough his life is. Abin Sur crashes by him. Now, the ring probably guided Sur's ship to crash by Hal but I will note the change towards Kyle Rayner's origin (originally the ring brought Hal to Abin Sur, not vice-versa). Hal is given the ring and the lantern and perhaps even a warning about Parallax.

"Take the ring"
The ring looks fine. I wish it were all green, but whatever.

Hal takes his new stuff to his apartment and tries to figure it out.

"I pledge allegiance... to a Lantern..."

After clowning around the lantern zaps him and teaches him the oath. He goes out to try to find some trouble and gets wailed on by some dudes. This beat down gets him to summon up enough willpower to activate the ring.

Classic giant fist from Hal. A+

Once the ring goes live it kicks into auto-pilot and brings him to Oa. Here he meets Tomar Re who gives him some much needed exposition.

Two thumbs up to Geoffrey Rush as Tomar Re

Hal will also train with Kilowog.

I bet this image (which is now everywhere) is from training with Kilowog

Hal then meets the Guardians and they learn through him (or his ring) what happened to Abin Sur.

I bet there's a Guardian seated atop each one of those pillars

Sinestro, whom everyone loves, rallies the corps and gives them a pep-talk about Parallax. Hal gets sent back to earth.

"Again, I assure you that I am not now nor will I ever be evil..."

Meanwhile, back on earth Amanda Waller turns the body of Abin Sur over to Hector Hammond.

Amanda Waller is not nearly fat enough

During the alien autopsy Hammond gets infected with Parallax (who presumably left a piece of himself within the dead Green Lantern).

Yellow zap as he reaches around inside Abin Sur

Hammond gets a swollen head and evil powers.

And yellow eyes to show everyone how clearly evil he is

Hal comes back and confides in his buddy Tom (more silly Hal Jordan).

Again, I'm "eh" on the costume...

He arrives just in time for the big Ferris bash which gets attacked by Hector Hammond. Hal saves people but the event goes down as a total $#!^-storm.

EXPLOSIONS! Yay!

Hal loses faith in himself and takes off the ring. Parallax comes to earth in dramatic and visually stunning Galactus-cloud style...

Why do movies make cosmic villains into clouds all the time?

So, Parallax reclaims the part of itself currently within Hector Hammond

Hal then needs to regain his self-esteem to fight this monster. Hal is given a pep-talk by Carol Ferris and he decides to overcome his fear.

"You have the ability to overcome great fear"

He then confronts Parallax and *GASP* the traitor within the corps: Sinestro (who'd have thought a guy named SINESTR-o could be anything but good and noble?).

I bet that yellow thing is Sinestro shooting out of Parallax at him

Hal defeats them (possibly with help from the corps).

And I'll bet if anyone helps him it will be Kilowog

But Sinestro gets away and forges a yellow ring for use in the sequel. Then we are left with a happy ending for Hal and Carol starting a stable relationship and Hal stepping up to his role as Green Lantern of sector 2814!

As I said all of this is speculative (with some wild guesses and hypothesis thrown in there) and I hope that I am wrong about thinking it's not going to live up to expectations. I love Green Lantern. It's a great concept and a classic Super Hero and I want the big screen adaptation to do it justice. I hope I am just being an overly critical and pessimistic fanboy and that this movie will knock my socks off and be all that a Green Lantern movie could be... I just don't think it will.
But we'll all know as of...